First Political Speech for Politifest September 2012

 And I’m running for Mayor because... 

Dignitaries, candidates, viewers at home, and voters of San Diego:

I am professor Loch David Crane.  I’m an apartment owner, retired university professor, and an entertainer.  I’m running to save my home town from greed by the sea, and decay by the bay.  
I am the man who built and drives the Star Trike. 
I am the magician who arrested Roger Hedgecock.
   
Our City is broke, there is high unemployment, our border is porous, and our water is drying up.  I have fifteen solutions to all of these problems–cheer when you hear what you like. 

And if you’re in the Tea Party–hold your breath for the next three minutes!       

I’m a Democrat who supports Affirmative Action, diversity, Civil rights, and a living wage.  I’ll give taxpayer benefits to single parents and veterans and union workers-- not illegal aliens. 
I’ll reward patriotic employers like Costco, who use President Obama’s E-Verify system, to hire legal Americans.   
   
I’d rather help homeless veterans than sports tycoons in sky boxes.  I’ll open the libraries, reclaim rain water, increase your police and fire protection. And I’m running for Mayor because it’s time to change the litter in the catbox of City Government. 

I reject the concept of a Sanctuary City–it attracts and rewards law breakers.  I roll with the Patriot Guard Riders and the Border Patrol Auxiliary, guarding America while you sleep. 
We will once again become America’s Finest City when the children of veterans deserve a  free college tuition and social benefits equal to those of illegal aliens.

I’ll direct our City Attorney to become a citizen’s Attorney –working to lower your gas prices, insurance, healthcare, water, and utility rates;  directed to protect medical Marijuana patients in pain, and to stop harassing dispensaries and doctors.  I’ll promote marijuana for medicinal and industrial uses, producing tax revenue and jobs. And I’m running for Mayor because it’s time to change the water in the bong of City Government.

San Diego holds 150,000 unemployed citizens.  There are 198,000 illegal aliens taking their jobs and benefits.  When the illegals leave, we can then employ every San Diegan who wants a job. 

San Diego needs to employ Americans, not illegal aliens.  When you immigrate legally,  you become a citizen of honor. 
If you choose to come here illegally, you will become a person of interest.

Please vote for professor LOCH DAVID CRANE for Mayor of San Diego in 2012.                        

By the way, did you folks know that all kittens are born Republicans? 
Then after a few days their eyes open and they become Democrats.

Thank you, I’m Professor Loch David Crane!
And I’m running for Mayor because it’s time for a high colonic in City government.